We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
