My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
