Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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