My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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