woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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