i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
