I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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