Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
