omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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