I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
