So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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