I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize