im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize