you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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