I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Less talking, more tequila
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
