Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
