Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
