I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
