the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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