I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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