Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The Olympian is in my bed
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