I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
