3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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