I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
