Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
