And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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