My brain says no but my pants say off.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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