Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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