Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We got so high we made milksteak
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
