So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize