things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
