theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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