i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
