Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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