It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
