You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
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Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
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Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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