these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
this beer tastes like vomit already
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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