How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize