i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
