I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
