ugly people sure do ruin things
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize