With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
