woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
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i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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