in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize