So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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