This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
