I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
