I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
