What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize