while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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