note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.