My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down