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his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
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