Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm sorry my penis didn't work

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  (301): I'm sorry my penis didn't work http://tfl.nu/tw6r
  Replies (10) Good night (810) Bad night (2354)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.

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  (918): The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners. http://tfl.nu/k8de
  Replies (7) Good night (745) Bad night (3837)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding

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  (559): my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding http://tfl.nu/co4h
  Replies (13) Good night (5668) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  $3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  does taste better than andre tho

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  (630): $3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne. (630): does taste better than andre tho http://tfl.nu/drx8
  Replies (13) Good night (3329) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...

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  (254): I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer... http://tfl.nu/1ty6
  Replies (28) Good night (3314) Bad night (6531)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds

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  (206): puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds http://tfl.nu/vlbj
  Replies (36) Good night (913) Bad night (4408)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights

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  (310): the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights http://tfl.nu/wmcj
  Replies (13) Good night (5027) Bad night (1182)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.

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  (443): she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs. http://tfl.nu/nz73
  Replies (13) Good night (8075) Bad night (1228)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.

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  (361): There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked. http://tfl.nu/femh
  Replies (2) Good night (2204) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.

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  (717): totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet. http://tfl.nu/uf41
  Replies (9) Good night (5094) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine

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  (412): I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine http://tfl.nu/2gdt
  Replies (13) Good night (915) Bad night (1850)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?

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  (248): When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle? http://tfl.nu/70g5
  Replies (7) Good night (1141) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out

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  (215): i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out http://tfl.nu/4dk0
  Replies (13) Good night (744) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"

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  (316): You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!" http://tfl.nu/ag1e
  Replies (1) Good night (471) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?

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  (918): I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far? http://tfl.nu/cfji
  Replies (0) Good night (460) Bad night (284)

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