I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.