no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?