i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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