is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize