i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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