The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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